Hope. Four letters, one syllable. A simple word that rolls out of your tongue as soon as you pronounce it. As simple as it may seem, hope makes a huge difference to a person who feels like ending his life.
Hope comes in different shapes and sizes. Your younger sibling’s smile, a baby’s hand grasping your finger, a new pair of shoes left by your mom on your bed as a surprise. Hope.
Have you ever felt so hopeless? Like nothing you do never comes out right. Like everything you do never turn out the way you want it to. We humans are always like that. We are often not contented with what we have. We always want something else. We often focus on the things that we lack, instead of being thankful for the things that we have. In the midst of all the blessings that we get, we humans have the knack of always finding something to complain about. When we focus entirely on the things that we don’t have, or on the aspects of our lives that we don’t like, we’re just pushing ourselves to the lips of our own graves. When we never feel enough, that’s when we lose hope. That’s when we start dying.
I wanted to die a few summers ago. Just like Nick Vujicic, that guy who had no arms and legs, I felt hopeless. I felt like I wasn’t enough. Just like I said a few moments ago, we humans have the knack of pointing out what’s missing in our lives instead of being grateful of what we have. I wanted to die because I didn’t have the motivation to continue this course, while other people had no money to even go to college. I was sad because I lost communication with most of the people I know from high school, when other people couldn’t even afford to go to high school, let alone finish elementary. I felt hopeless and I could not see anything worth living for, and I wanted to curl under my bed and die. I won’t delve too much on the details of that summer, but by God’s grace, I took a step back and saw how my problems looked like from a distance. My problems, despite how heavy they seemed, were petty compared to other people’s problems. By God’s grace, I saw how good my life was. Nag-iinarte lang pala ako. I took a deep breath and decided to stay.
If Nick, a guy without arms and legs, could feel whole and complete, then why can’t I? Why shouldn’t I? Nick had no limbs, but he had that power to move people with his words. He was physically incomplete, pero yung spirit nya sobrang macho. Nick made me realize that you can live without the things you thought you needed.
In this life, there is always something to be sad about. Something or someone to be insecure of. Someone who could write essays better than you could, someone who could paint better than you could, someone who has the longest legs that you dream of. There is always something in this world to make you feel bad about yourself. But why should we focus on that? Why should we let ourselves drown on the strong waves of sadness? We are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be, according to one of my favourite books. Sadness is survivable. There is always hope. As I’ve said, hope comes in many shapes and sizes. You just have to let it in.
Hope. Four letters, one syllable, but it makes all the difference.
Last June 12th, I decided to watch Maleficent alone. I don’t like watching movies that I like with other people, idk idk. Maybe it’s because I don’t want them to see how I’d react on feels-inducing scenes. Lol remember when I watched Les Mis alone, too?
I know I have hideous hands lol I just liked how the background looks like! Haha!
My neighbors have great flora to take pictures of but I don’t even know them so I’d just have to buy my own plants. :( Btw I’m thinking of buying a pot of roses hehe and some daisy seeds too!!
Spot the not so hidden bra lol
ANYWAY back to Maleficent…
I loved it dajhsfgajsdh I’ve been waiting for it ever since I saw sneak peeks of it on Twitter. I remember seeing a photo of Angelina Jolie with her horns and she was wearing brown clothes lol and it was love at first sight.
I haven’t seen Sleeping Beauty (lol loser Ephraim) because Maleficent creeped me out when I was a kid. Damn, she had green skin and she likes to cackle - she reminded me of The Wicked Witch of The West, whom I used to be terrified of after watching The Wizard of Oz for the first time when I was 4.
Back when I was a kid, I didn’t get why the evil fairy godmother cursed Aurora just because she wasn’t invited to the christening. Lol I thought she needed anger management sessions. But after seeing Maleficent, damn… Just damn.
I loved Maleficent’s story, it reminded me that true love isn’t just for couples. But I’m going to justify the stuff that she did to the king, okay. I would’ve done the same things she did if I were on her shoes, I swear. But just like her, I’d probably be nice towards the end, too. Lmao! The ending was a bit predictable, though.
Btw this was a picture that I took on the cinema lol one of my favorite scenes! The *feels* slapped me in the face! I love how she decided to free herself from her past.
And lol this was what I wore. All black errthang because I’m always ready for my funeral lol
Remember when I was in 3rd grade and #Tangled was just a tentative concept? I was damn excited for it even then. Sometimes, I just find it hard to believe that it’s been out for almost 4 years, I think, and it still hasn’t gotten old for me. I don’t think it ever will! It’s just so worth the wait, I swear.
I was still in high school when I first saw this novel, One Day. I didn’t know what it was about and I thought it was a set on a post-war era lol maybe I was thinking about Letters To Juliet idk idk. Anyway, as I was saying, I didn’t know what the novel was about but I wanted to buy it because Anne Hathaway was on the cover (it was the movie tie-in.) Plus, there was too much feels on the cover, I remember looking at it for the first time and I felt a tight tug in my chest. There’s just too much tension and let’s-just-take-this-moment-and-own-it feelings on that kiss ffs.
I didn’t buy the book back then because it was around 600php (more than $16 I guess) and I didn’t like buying novels that cost more than 300 bucks lol I usually ask my mom to buy it and say “but mom it’s mentally stimulating.”
Anyway, last summer, I went to my previous school to get my transcript and school stuff (you know how complicated my life has been: I was from CEU then I transferred for a semester then I went back to CEU again lol I’m crying) and I saw a copy of One Day at a bookstore. It was even on sale!!
I remember sifting through the shelves and finding this little gem and I swear it was one of the highlights of that summer and that’s a huge statement because there wasn’t much!
Anyway, I loved this book even though it was a bit depressing. I was too damn frustrated at Dexter Mayhew, the male protagonist, because of his ego and I think he didn’t want to end up with Emma Morley (the female lead) because he’s like “Hey I’m THE Dexter Mayhew and I won’t end up with u.” I won’t talk about the novel that much because I don’t want to ruin your experience of reading it for the first time, in case you were planning to read it idk idk.
The movie was great, as well! The feel of the movie was sort of rustic for me and I liked it. They did a great depiction of the characters as well! I know that I’m being biased here because it stars my baby Anne Hathaway so I’d obviously say that it was great. You know how much I love Hathaway, I mean, how could you not?
I love you Anne Hathaway I love you. But I love you too Katy Perry don’t get jeleeeeez.
I know I don’t write that well and I tend to veer off the topic that I’m writing about, so to sum everything up, JUST READ THIS NOVEL. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE YOU GUYS.
I can’t believe that it took me this long to appreciate Idina Menzel’s Let It Go. It’s about time for me to break free from my boundaries as well. I find it hard to own this song because we all know what happened to Elsa in the end…